EPISODE 6: DAVID WAIN

Welcome to the Week Sauce! Show. This week’s guest is writer/director David Wain.

MONOLOGUE!

________________________________________________________________________________

During her speech at the Republican National Convention, Ann Romney repeatedly referred to her husband as “That boy I met at a school dance.”
In an attempt to mimic her playful banter, Mitt Romney referred to his wife as “that girl I bought.”

According to a new report from Yellowstone National Park, bears are not attracted to the odors of women menstruating.
Well, all except for Smokey, who crudely offered that menstruating women “start a forest fire” in his pants.

In his latest animal adventure, Russian Prime Minister Vladmir Putin flew a motorized hang glider among a group of rare Siberian cranes in an attempt to lead them to warmer climates.
Cranes who refused to fly behind Putin were suspiciously never heard from again.

Women in a civil rights group in Togo are urging other women in the country to stage a week long sex strike to demand the resignation of the country’s president.
When informed of the strike, former President Bill Clinton quickly withdrew his request to President Obama to travel to Togo as a goodwill ambassador.

Police in England called off a search for an escaped lion after it was discovered that the animal was just a large cat.
This was similar to the time English police called off a search for escaped corpses after discovering they were just The Rolling Stones.

It was announced that Olympic Gymnast Aly Raisman will be inducted into the National Jewish Sports Hall of Fame.
The ceremony will unfortunately not include Raisman’s parents, as the facility is not large enough to hold three people.

A Canadian strip club is awarding its dancers scholarships to attend college as long as they can maintain a B+ average.
This is a little confusing to the dancers because it seems to go against the strip club’s requirement that they keep a double-D average.

Residents of Ocean City, Maryland failed recently to break a record held by a city in China for largest bikini parade.
The 15,000 people participating in the Ocean City bikini parade came up just short of the Chinese city’s 35 billion.

In a bizarre speech during the Republican National Convention, Clint Eastwood addressed a chair he had brought on stage as if President Obama was sitting in it,
carrying on the long-held American tradition of old white men incoherently blaming all of their problems on imaginary black people.

Rock star Slash revealed in an interview that when he was a child he once discovered his mother naked with David Bowie.
Not that surprising when you consider that David Bowie was completely naked from 1973 until 1981.

 

FYI: A NOTE FROM GOD,

FRIEND OF THE SHOW

________________________________________________________________________________

Please kindly welcome God, a good friend of the Week Sauce! Show. From time to time in this space, God will disclose to the world a fact previously unknown to humanity regarding heaven, hell, and the everyday antics of the afterlife. 

This week’s FYI:

 

Cartoon by Ryan Walls, who currently has a crush on a girl with a boyfriend.

 

GETTIN’ SAUCED! WITH

DAVID WAIN

________________________________________________________________________________

This week’s guest on the Week Sauce! Show is writer/director David Wain.

Week Sauce! Show: There have been many seminal director/actor relationships in film and television, such as Martin Scorsese-Leonardo DiCaprio and Tim Burton-Johnny Depp.  You have Paul Rudd.  Are you happy about that?
David Wain: I’m reasonably happy.  I applied to get Catherine Keener but Nicole Holofcener was ahead of me in line.  Or maybe she wrote a better essay.  But I’m glad that our relationship is thought of as seminal, which I assume means “having to do with semen”?

WSS: You have been plagued with interview questions about the status of Wet Hot American Summer 2.  We won’t bother you with that, but what is the status of Wet Hot American Summer 3?
DW: Thank you for asking.  The third one is our quickie sell-out sequel.  The only cast member returning is H. Jon Benjamin voicing the Can of Vegetables.  It takes place at a jet-ski camp and it’s mostly gratuitous shots of boobs with some comic relief courtesy of the drugged-out nature counselor (Robin Quivers).

WSS: It has been reported that Jennifer Aniston met her fiance, Justin Theroux, on the set of your film “Wanderlust.”  How much responsibility do you bear for this?  Have you made any demands from the happy couple?
DW: I guess they might not have met if we had not cast Justin in the film, so I’m proud to have had something to do with it!  Ironically I met my own wife Zandy years ago at a dinner party which was held for the purpose of setting Justin up with a different (now famous) actress – that one didn’t work out. P.S. that’s totally true.

I haven’t made any demands on them but I’ll take this opportunity to publically demand that they have a beautiful life together! AWWW!


WSS: How did your celebrations differ from when “The State” was picked up by MTV in 1993 and “Stella” was picked up by Comedy Central in 2005?

DW: Let’s see…I don’t exactly remember The State one but remembering that time in general we probably celebrated by drinking a lot (except not me because I didn’t drink) and screwing a lot of girls (except not Kerri and not Kevin because they liked boys).

When Stella was picked up I remember I got a phone call from my manager saying, basically, “Look they’re gonna give you 10 episodes – but you just have to promise it won’t be too gay.”

WSS: Your web series “Wainy Days” has been on for 5 seasons and has featured several celebrity cameos.  If you could only film one more episode, but you could secure any cameo you wanted for it, who would you choose?
DW: Easy. Cheryl Ladd so I could make out with her.

WSS: If you weren’t an actor-writer-director, what other multi-hyphenated career path would you have chosen?
DW: Middle school teacher / rapist / blogger.

WSS: What project would you hope to be promoting in 15 years?
DW: A documentary about PRESIDENT JUSTIN BIEBER(!?!! – can you imagine!?)

Thanks for coming out. Please enjoy this week’s video send-off, ideally while takin’ in a little brewski and holding onto a beautiful babe. See you next week! Sweet!